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A product description you’ll never see…

“Product X is resoundingly average! We guarantee it will work most of the time. The rest of the time we’ll blame it on the manufacturer and only give you a 50% refund.

“Constructed of the cheapest steel we could find, Product X will help you clean your kitchen in almost the same amount of time! Just don’t drop it.”

Warehouse for Product X
Look, it’s Product X! It was already boxed, so we just took a photo of the boxes. Isn’t it incredibly average?

“Product X is made by a weird mishmash of international labor (which may or may not include child workers) and barely-met-safety-standards materials. If you have any issues, please don’t call! Most of our employees fake it every day anyway.

“At Product X Corp, we always strive to come in just below your expectations. We don’t really care if you’re satisfied with Product X, but we very much care about you giving us your money.
Order Product X today!”



…but it’s pretty darn accurate, isn’t it?


Published inMusingsWrongness